Working through a smaller Book - Titus

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Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Given my work schedule, I figure it may be more satisfying to work through a smaller book than Matthew (which is what I had been going through in fits and starts) so I'll open this thread up to work going through the letter of Paul to Titus.
--
The first sentence verses 1-3 in the OEB reads as a very winding run-on sentence. Consider these changes in punctuation "--" to make it more readable. I've also thought "on behalf of the faith" was more clear than "charged with" and "which leads to" more clear than "which makes for"... and "preaching" seemed more accurate than our current modern use of "proclamation."

SUGGESTED TEXT AND PUNCTUATION FOR 1:1-3

"Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, on behalf of the faith of God’s chosen people, and their knowledge of that truth which makes for godliness -- 2  and is based on the hope of eternal life, which God, who never lies, promised before the ages began, 3  and has revealed at his own time in his message, with the preaching of which I was entrusted by the command of God our Savior."

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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Verse 4 in OEB currently reads: " To Titus, my true child in our one faith: May God, the Father, and Christ Jesus, our Savior, bless you and give you peace."

Most other current english translations say "common" rather than "one."

So suggested new verse 4:

 "To Titus, my true child in our common faith: May God, the Father, and Christ Jesus, our Savior, bless you and give you peace."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Verses 5-6 in the OEB read:

"5  My reason for leaving you in Crete was that you might put in order what had been left unsettled, and appoint officers of the church in the various towns, as I myself directed you. 6  They are to be of irreproachable character, faithful to their partners, whose children are Christians and have never been charged with dissolute conduct or have been unruly."

I think "unfinished" is accurate the the greek and more clear than "unsettled." And rather than "officers" should this read "Elders" as many modern translations use? Or maybe Leaders? "blameless" seems more clear English than "irreproachable" and "whose children are believers" seems more accurate than the use of the word "Christians" which is not in the greek. Lastly, "charged with dissolute conduct or have been unruly" seems more clearly worded as: "open to the charge of being wild or unruly."

SUGGESTED NEW TEXT FOR VERSES 5-6:

"5  My reason for leaving you in Crete was that you might put in order what had been left unfinished, and appoint Leaders of the church in the various towns, as I myself directed you. 6  They are to be of blameless character, faithful to their partners, whose children are believers and not open to the charge of being wild or unruly."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
In reply to this post by Timchambers
OEB currently reads in verse 8:

"For a presiding officer, as God’s steward, ought to be of irreproachable character; not self-willed or quick-tempered, nor addicted to drink or to brawling or to questionable money-making."

"Church Leader" or "Elder" is more clear than "presiding officer" -- "self-willed" might be better translated "arrogant" and "addicted to drink" might be better translated "given to drunkenness" -- "brawling" might be better translated "violent" and "questionable money-making" might be better translated "greedy for dishonest gain." I'm also removing the semi-colon for more modern readability. Also replacing the "nors" with "nots" as tht feels more readable and common.

SUGGESTED TRANSLATION FOR VERSE 8:

"For a church leader, as God’s steward, ought to be of blameless character -- not arrogant or quick-tempered, not given to drunkenness, not violent nor greedy for dishonest gain."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
In reply to this post by Timchambers
Verse 8-9 read now:

"On the contrary, they should be hospitable, eager for the right, discreet, upright, people of holy life and capable of self-restraint, 9  who hold doctrine that can be relied on as being in accordance with the accepted teaching; so that they may be able to encourage others by sound teaching, as well as to refute our opponents."

"lover of good," seems more clear than "eager for the right" "self-controlled" more clear than "discreet"; disciplined" more clear than "self-restraint" and "teaching" and "message" more accurate and clear than "doctrine." Also changed the word "contradict" versus "our opponents" for accuracy and clarity.

Suggested translation:

"But rather, they should hospitable, a lover of the good, who is self controlled, upright, people of holy life and disciplined, 9  holding firmly to the trustworthy message as it has been taught -- so that they may be able to encourage others by sound teaching, as well as to refute those who contradict it."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Verses 10 and 11 read:

"10  There are, indeed, many unruly persons — great talkers who deceive themselves, principally converts from Judaism, 11  whose mouths ought to be stopped; for they upset whole households by teaching what they ought not to teach, merely to make questionable gains."

Suggested changes for accuracy and clarity and readability:

"10  For there are many rebellious persons — empty talkers who deceivers, especially those of the circumcision group, 11  They must be silenced as they disrupt whole households by teaching what they ought not to teach, for the sake of shameful gain."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Verse 12 reads in the OEB:

 "It was a Cretan — one of their own teachers — who said: ‘Cretans are always liars, base brutes, and gluttonous idlers’; and his statement is true."

Suggested changes for clarity, accuracy and readability:

 "It was a Cretan — one of their own prophets — who said: ‘Cretans are always liars, evil beasts, and lazy gluttons.'  This statement is true."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Verses 15 reads this way in the OEB:

Everything is pure to the pure-minded, but to those whose minds are polluted and who are unbelievers nothing is pure. Their minds and consciences are alike polluted.

Suggested changes for readablity, accuracy:

To the pure, all things are pure, but to those whose minds are tainted and unbelieving, nothing is pure as their minds and consciences are alike polluted.
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Verse 16 reads in the OEB:

"They profess to know God, but by their actions they disown him. They are degraded and self-willed; and, as far as anything good is concerned, they are utterly worthless."

Suggested changes for accuracy and readability:

"They profess to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable and disobedient and, useless to any good work."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Chpt 2:1 of the OEB reads:

"You should, however, speak of such subjects as properly have a place in sound Christian teaching."

Recommended changes for clarity and accuracy and readablity:

 You however, should speak of things that fit with sound teaching."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Chapter 2:2-6 read in the OEB:

"Teach that the older men should be temperate, serious, and discreet; strong in faith, love, and endurance. 3  So, too, that the older women should be reverent in their demeanor, and that they should avoid scandal, and beware of becoming slaves to drink; 4  that they should teach what is right, so as to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5  and to be discreet, pure-minded, domesticated, good women, respecting the authority of their husbands, in order that God's message may not be maligned. 6  And so again with the younger men — impress on them the need of discretion."

Recommended changes for accuracy, and readability:

"Teach the older men should be soberly clear minded, dignified and self-controlled -- sound in faith, love, and patient endurance. 3  So, too, that the older women should live reverent lives, not slanderers, and not enslaved to much wine. 4 They should teach what is good, so as to train the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5  and to be self-controlled, pure-minded, to be watching over their home, to be kind, respecting the authority of their husbands, so that no one will speak badly of the world of God.  6  In the same way with the younger men — urge them to be self-controlled."

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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
the OEB reads:

"7  Above all, set an example of doing good. Show sincerity in your teaching, and a serious spirit; 8  let the instruction that you give be sound and above reproach, so that the enemy may be ashamed when he fails to find anything bad to say about us."

Recommended changes for accuracy, and readability:

" 7  In all things, be showing in yourself an example of doing good. In your teaching, show integrity and  seriousness -- 8  let the instruction that you give be sound and above reproach, so that those who oppose you may be ashamed when they have nothing bad to say about us."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
The OEB reads:

11  For the loving kindness of God has been revealed, bringing salvation for all; 12  leading us to renounce irreligious ways and worldly ambitions, and to live discreet, upright, and religious lives here in this present world, 13  while we are awaiting our blessed hope — the appearing in glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus. 14  For he gave himself on our behalf, to deliver us from all wickedness, and to purify for himself a people who should be peculiarly his own and eager to do good. 15  Speak of all this, and encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone despise you.

Recommended changes for accuracy and readability:

11  For the loving kindness of God has been revealed, bringing salvation for all,12  leading us to renounce ungodliness and worldly desires, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives here in this present age, 13  while awaiting our blessed hope — the appearing in glory of our great God and Savior, Christ Jesus. 14  For he gave himself on our behalf, to deliver us from all lawless rebellion, and to purify for himself a people who should be peculiarly his own and eager to do good. 15  Tell them of all this, and encourage and rebuke with all authority. Do not let anyone belittle you.


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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
For verse 14, perhaps rather than the word "peculiarly" we use the word "truly."
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
OEB Chapt 3:1-2 reads:

 Remind your hearers to respect and obey the powers that be, to be ready for every kind of good work, to speak ill of no one, to avoid quarreling, 2 to be forbearing, and under all circumstances to show a gentle spirit in dealing with others, whoever they may be.

Consider changing this to:

Remind them to respect and obey the rulers and authorities, to be ready for every kind of good work, to slander no one, to avoid quarreling, 2 to be reasonable, and under all circumstances to show a gentle spirit with all.
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Titus 3.3 in the OEB reads:

There was, you remember, a time when we ourselves were foolish, disobedient, misled, slaves to all kinds of passions and vices, living in a spirit of malice and envy, detested ourselves and hating one another.

Consider changing to:

For once we ourselves were also foolish, disobedient, misled, enslaved to various impulses and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hating ourselves and hating one another.
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Titus 3:4-7 reads this way in the OEB:

 4 But, when the kindness of God our Savior and his love for humanity were revealed, he saved us, 5 not as the result of any righteous actions that we had done, but in fulfillment of his merciful purposes. He saved us by that washing which was a new birth to us, and by the renewing power of the Holy Spirit, 6 which he poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior; 7 that, having been pronounced righteous through his loving kindness, we might enter on our inheritance with the hope of eternal life.

Consider these changes:

 4 But, when the kindness of God our Savior and his love of all humanity appeared, he saved us, 5 not as the result of any righteous actions that we had done, but due to his mercy. He saved us by that washing of rebirth, and by the renewing power of the Holy Spirit, 6 which he richly poured out on us through Jesus Christ our Savior --7 that, having been justified by this grace, we become heirs due to the hope of eternal life.

---

NOTE: we may want to consider translating "eternal life" as "life of the ages." But this may be a larger question for all the times this greek phrase is used.

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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
In the OEB Titus 3:8 reads:

 8 How true that saying is! And it is on these subjects that I desire you to lay especial stress, so that those who have learned to trust in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing good. Such subjects are excellent in themselves, and of real use to humanity.

Consider changing this to:

 8 This saying is trustworthy! And I want you to stress on these things, so that those who have learned to trust in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing good. Such subjects are excellent in themselves, and of benefit to all.
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
Titus 3:9 in the OEB currently reads:

But have nothing to do with foolish discussions, or with genealogies, or with controversy, or disputes about the Law. They are useless and futile.

Consider changing it to:

But have nothing to do with foolish controversies, or with genealogies, or with quarrels, or fights about the Law. They are useless and futile.
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Re: Working through a smaller Book - Titus

Timchambers
OEB Titus 3:10-11 reads:

 10 If someone is causing divisions among you, after warning them once or twice, have nothing more to say to them. 11 You may be sure that such a person has forsaken the truth and is in the wrong; they stand self-condemned.

Consider changing to:

 10 If someone is causing divisions among you, after warn them once and then twice, then avoid them. 11 You may know that this is a corrupt and sinful person - they are self-condemned.
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